These past few weeks have been really tough on me, I have to admit. Tons of endless assignments, projects and all that. But I guess that's what college kids suffer through, yet I can tell you this - I HATE IT.
Well, I guess that's not what I'm trying to mellow down here (although I really could use a little pick-me-up from all these damn assignments), but what I'm really trying to get off my chest here is a little problem. Yes, you may have guessed it : it's a girl-related kind of problem. Now, I'm not in a relationship at all (and have no plans of being in one) but I seem to be going through what I've been through when I was 13. I seem to have a crush on a girl. Again. Another crush. Another girl. God, sometimes I ask myself why I can't really get over these kind of things!
Anyway, the girl I am referring to, also happens to be studying at the same campus I am (go figure). She's 3 years my junior, super hot and super cute. She seems to be quite a big sized girl, though I wouldn't call her fat or chubby but just nice. Kind of stocky in a way. She also has this almost tomboy-like personality, which I find strangely attractive. I first saw her a few months back, as she was hanging out with her girlfriends at me and my homies' fave hang out spot (nothing fancy though). Though, I am still curious at the fact that I've never seem to see her before last year.
It's been months now, and I've been seeing her around almost 3 or 4 times a week. I seem to know almost everything about her now. Well, for starters, she is a constant smoker (I usually don't like girls who smoke, but she could make an exception though), she happens to have a certain fear of cats (*sigh* i love cats) and she also happens to be a fan of fun. (that indie band that I also happen to be a fan of too). I seem to know almost everything about her now. Except for 1 thing : her name. I've been seeing her around for months now and I still don't know her name! Unbelievable! I know, I could have gone up to her and ask her name or ask for her number (I rarely do that due t the fact that I'm still a pussy), but we all how much of a coward I really am with girls, especially cute girls.
What's even more devastating, she also happens to be in a relationship (I guess) because I've seen her talking on her phone to some dude (pretty sure it's a dude) and waiting for messages as well as messaging him many times before. Well, that ain't no mystery! I guess I should have seen it coming. I mean, a really beautiful girl like her is DEFINITELY occupying a relationship (duh!). I haven't even said a word to her. Not once.
But, I suppose that's my luck. I guess that has always been my luck, especially with girls. I just can't seem to catch a break. No matter, as long as she is happy with her man and all the cigarettes in the world, then I'm happy too.
Like I said before, it's all about growing up and being fucking mature. We may not like what life serves us, but just accept it because life, fate and luck apparently happens to be a bunch of unfair bitches. Well, I guess it's no use complaining now, it seems pathetic and futile. I guess I'll just take it like a man, no matter how much it hurts. Hell, I've been through worst.
For now, I guess I'll just appreciate and admire her from a afar because I truly don't deserve a beautiful girl like that. But hey, I'm strong, I'll get over it eventually, though that's what I always tell myself when faced with bullshit. But, I guess I'll just see how things go. So, until then, I'll still be admiring you from a distance, mystery girl, whoever you are and where ever you are...
Well, I guess that's not what I'm trying to mellow down here (although I really could use a little pick-me-up from all these damn assignments), but what I'm really trying to get off my chest here is a little problem. Yes, you may have guessed it : it's a girl-related kind of problem. Now, I'm not in a relationship at all (and have no plans of being in one) but I seem to be going through what I've been through when I was 13. I seem to have a crush on a girl. Again. Another crush. Another girl. God, sometimes I ask myself why I can't really get over these kind of things!
Anyway, the girl I am referring to, also happens to be studying at the same campus I am (go figure). She's 3 years my junior, super hot and super cute. She seems to be quite a big sized girl, though I wouldn't call her fat or chubby but just nice. Kind of stocky in a way. She also has this almost tomboy-like personality, which I find strangely attractive. I first saw her a few months back, as she was hanging out with her girlfriends at me and my homies' fave hang out spot (nothing fancy though). Though, I am still curious at the fact that I've never seem to see her before last year.
It's been months now, and I've been seeing her around almost 3 or 4 times a week. I seem to know almost everything about her now. Well, for starters, she is a constant smoker (I usually don't like girls who smoke, but she could make an exception though), she happens to have a certain fear of cats (*sigh* i love cats) and she also happens to be a fan of fun. (that indie band that I also happen to be a fan of too). I seem to know almost everything about her now. Except for 1 thing : her name. I've been seeing her around for months now and I still don't know her name! Unbelievable! I know, I could have gone up to her and ask her name or ask for her number (I rarely do that due t the fact that I'm still a pussy), but we all how much of a coward I really am with girls, especially cute girls.
What's even more devastating, she also happens to be in a relationship (I guess) because I've seen her talking on her phone to some dude (pretty sure it's a dude) and waiting for messages as well as messaging him many times before. Well, that ain't no mystery! I guess I should have seen it coming. I mean, a really beautiful girl like her is DEFINITELY occupying a relationship (duh!). I haven't even said a word to her. Not once.
But, I suppose that's my luck. I guess that has always been my luck, especially with girls. I just can't seem to catch a break. No matter, as long as she is happy with her man and all the cigarettes in the world, then I'm happy too.
Like I said before, it's all about growing up and being fucking mature. We may not like what life serves us, but just accept it because life, fate and luck apparently happens to be a bunch of unfair bitches. Well, I guess it's no use complaining now, it seems pathetic and futile. I guess I'll just take it like a man, no matter how much it hurts. Hell, I've been through worst.
For now, I guess I'll just appreciate and admire her from a afar because I truly don't deserve a beautiful girl like that. But hey, I'm strong, I'll get over it eventually, though that's what I always tell myself when faced with bullshit. But, I guess I'll just see how things go. So, until then, I'll still be admiring you from a distance, mystery girl, whoever you are and where ever you are...
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